Something Great About Myself #19

I will always be thankful that I educate myself everyday somehow. It can either be by watching yt videos or reading blogs about god. Lately I watched alot of vlogs about how to never settle for less and ONLY ASK GOD ONCE for what you need and just surrender to him. You can do this be praying a meaningful prayer and ask god what you desire and after that just be patient and learn to never ask again. By doing this your trusting god and you will always know he is working and up to your prayer. I asked god many times to provide me a future husband but I learned to just wait and pray only once. After this I should just focus on god by reading many quotes about god, watching helpful videos and more to help myself understand him more. I’m patient because I have faith that he will bless me with someone who actually will love me no matter what. Sure all my friends have a happy relationship but in the end im happy for them and will do anything to support :D. I told god I can wait forever as long as I trust him :D. Waiting for his patience also means to not even look or wonder where is. For instance try not to go to church just for a hubby or even dating sites. As long as you wait and do what is right not easy god will always provide what you wish. I can’t wait honestly but I will wait forever :). I wont be sad because god will provide me other blessings. This week so many people actually ordered from my shop which made me happy. God even blessed me by fixing my phone :D. I’m happy so for me I just need to keep doing what is right not easy and know that gods watching me :D. I wont settle for less. Meaning if someone wants to date me I will make sure its a blessing from god. If its a test then I know what to actually do which is just say no and leave. I know what I want and im going to wait and have faith on god because he knows what to do :D. I’m happy and will always do the right thing and never try to cheat god by doing bad things :D.

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Truth #17 Learning To Remind Myself That To Trust God With His Timing With Finding My Future Husband!

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So Valentines Days is coming up and as of now my friends are preparing to spend that special day with their loved ones. No matter what I will always be happy for them because honestly everyone deserves to be happy! Earlier today on Facebook I saw one of my friends post about how wonderful her boyfriend is and how she wasn’t to marry him soon and he agrees. Now of course this melts my heart but also makes me sad as well. I am still learning to wait patiently but sometimes its hard because everyone else is happy with their soulmate. I know god loves me so that makes me happy. I also know that as of now he needs me to be close to him as possible. As of now I’m doing that but some days I just wish I can meet my future husband.

I love god so much and trust him as well so I plan to continue to wait while also paying attention to him not matter what. Sadly I might not get a bouquet of flowers or heart shaped chocolate candies for Valentines day from my future boyfriend. But it wont really matter because I have god and I know he’s working on someone who really needs me :).

 

Truth 11: My Experiance With Deep Depression Causing Myself To Ask God To Take My Life!

Thankfully my parents don’t read my blog ^^. This will be another serious blog post about how many times I felt suicidal because of my actions. Sure I have a smile on my face all the time and help others but honestly my life is hard.

Everyday I battle with thinking sinful thoughts about my crush’s or other people which makes me want to disappear. I hate hurting God all the time by doing this but its hard to control. These thoughts started when I see or think about my future lover or ALL my crush’s in general. I think about our honeymoon and more which hurts me because I know this is not gods plan at all.

I love god forever and most days its hard to trust him when it comes with finding the one. I like to help others a lot because that makes me happy and they deserve it. Everyday I pray and try to read the bible. Some days I don’t think about it but it mostly happens when I’m extremely happy and at night.

I hate thinking about these lies because I know it wont happen so why get my hopes up and think about it.

My best friend who I loved forever isn’t even part of God’s plan which hurts a lot because we have great chemistry. I’m learning to stop thinking this way and just be pure again.

It will be hard but I trust God forever!

 

Truth 9: God Actually Talked To Me In My Dreams Yesterday

Yesterday I posted the truth of what I am battling everyday. But thankfully I had many people help me with this problem and made me sleep soundly and happy. Then I woke up at 1 o clock and in my dreams I heard God say that if the boys I think about or meet don’t remind myself of himself than leave them alone and stop thinking about them. As of now today I’m full of energy and happy. I will miss my crush but uhh when I see him I don’t see a godly relationship or God himself. I just see him as my best friend and I am forever happy for that. I can’t wait for god to bring my God boyfriend ^^.Β  I wont mind waiting because all I need is him and he makes me happy :D.

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I am thankful for:

  1. God
  2. Waking up
  3. Helping my parents get ready for work
  4. Sleeping
  5. YouTube Videos
  6. Studying
  7. Taking notes
  8. Having fun in Biology
  9. Turning in HW on time and early
  10. Helping others
  11. Talking to new people in class
  12. Reading interesting videos
  13. Getting ready early
  14. Cleaning my room and keeping it neat
  15. Waking up to reality and love
  16. Having enough for Takis

Thank you for 20 followers

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Hey guys ^^ thank you all for 20 followers :D. You all make me so happy to keep blogging about my life as a Christian woman. Everyday I have trouble and have a hard time but you guys motivate myself to keep blogging about god himself. I recently got my heart broken because I felt that since I’m not smart or pretty enough than no one would ever love me. This boy who I liked for a long time turned out to be married and very happy. I was extremely happy but also upset. Then I began to think about giving up on love and focus on loving others instead. It hurts a lot but I have a lot of problems and addictions of my own and I don’t wish to hurt anyone else with these problems. I forever love god first and maybe its best to be single and focus on him until old age ^^.