Deuteronomy 6:5 NLT

1 John 5:21 NLT

Only God can satisfy

Truth #17 Learning To Remind Myself That To Trust God With His Timing With Finding My Future Husband!

So Valentines Days is coming up and as of now my friends are preparing to spend that special day with their loved ones. No matter what I will always be happy for them because honestly everyone deserves to be happy! Earlier today on Facebook I saw one of my friends post about how wonderful her boyfriend is and how she wasn’t to marry him soon and he agrees. Now of course this melts my heart but also makes me sad as well. I am still learning to wait patiently but sometimes its hard because everyone else is happy with their soulmate. I know god loves me so that makes me happy. I also know that as of now he needs me to be close to him as possible. As of now I’m doing that but some days I just wish I can meet my future husband.

I love god so much and trust him as well so I plan to continue to wait while also paying attention to him not matter what. Sadly I might not get a bouquet of flowers or heart shaped chocolate candies for Valentines day from my future boyfriend. But it wont really matter because I have god and I know he’s working on someone who really needs me :).

 

Something Great About Myself #8 Understanding God’s Plan :D

I loving my talent with understanding gods plan very fast. I know he loves me and knows what’s best for me ^^. I will not just wait and keep learning about him :D.

Truth #14 What I Learned About My Crush VS A Godly Boyfriend

So I spent the whole day learning the whole meaning about crushes and what I learned was theirs a great meaning why its called a crush. Honestly if they loved you then they would:

1. Make time for you
2. Call or text first
3. Show  that they are interested in yourself and mostly god

He  sadly did non of  these things. He is a great Christian man but I wish his Faith was big like myself. Meaning he will always talk about God during confos. He is still my best friend but it’s best to leave him alone because honestly I don’t think Godly thoughts around him at all. For now I will see if he even cares my absence while I focus on God more because after all he will always love me. They say to just be like bye but that’s not nice. You always need to treat others will love no matter what.

Even if he doesn’t love me that wont matter because I know God will always love me and I will just need to focus on him everyday meaning reading the bible and praying in the morning. While doing Godly things. I know God put him their for a reason but its best to leave if he doesn’t show any interest in liking me while I am wasting my time making the first move. Usally guys are suppost to just to see if they are interested. Even if he’s shy at least show me that you acutally liked my company. He was always mainly focused on school work and college which made me happy but I believe that’s all he need to focus on to be happy without me.

I’m kinda sad but I know God will always love me and I just need to focus on him forvever. Even if he gives me a Godly boyfriend. I still want to study the bible with and while also pray everyday!

Truth #13 God Will Bless You When You Least Expect It

I just remembered when something dear happened to me causing myself to cry myself to sleep. I remember that I wanted to say happy Thanksgiving to my best friend that I loved but failed. I was hurt because I really wanted to say it but choose something more selfish. That night I feel asleep hurting and crying. Than that Sunday I think was when I got to actually get confidence to text him saying happy late thanksgiving. After that we talked for a  while and then he told me that he was ultra happy to see me that he actually wanted to hang out. It was just the two of us so I didn’t know if it was a date or just hanging out. But that didn’t matter because we had fun and talked about our future jobs. It was really fun and he even let me take home the rest of the pizza which I shared with my family :D. We are still best friends now but I’m happy that God let me see my best friend again :D.

Truth 12# Always Treat Others Friendy and Do The Right Thing

Today is my crush’s birthday :D. He’s officially 20 years old. Even though God knows who is best for me and I know its not him. Its always best to wish him the best Birthday ever and always do the same with others. I will always treat others like family and friendly like because that’s all that will make me happy!

Truth 11: My Experiance With Deep Depression Causing Myself To Ask God To Take My Life!

Thankfully my parents don’t read my blog ^^. This will be another serious blog post about how many times I felt suicidal because of my actions. Sure I have a smile on my face all the time and help others but honestly my life is hard.

Everyday I battle with thinking sinful thoughts about my crush’s or other people which makes me want to disappear. I hate hurting God all the time by doing this but its hard to control. These thoughts started when I see or think about my future lover or ALL my crush’s in general. I think about our honeymoon and more which hurts me because I know this is not gods plan at all.

I love god forever and most days its hard to trust him when it comes with finding the one. I like to help others a lot because that makes me happy and they deserve it. Everyday I pray and try to read the bible. Some days I don’t think about it but it mostly happens when I’m extremely happy and at night.

I hate thinking about these lies because I know it wont happen so why get my hopes up and think about it.

My best friend who I loved forever isn’t even part of God’s plan which hurts a lot because we have great chemistry. I’m learning to stop thinking this way and just be pure again.

It will be hard but I trust God forever!

 

What I Would Love In A Life Partner

Thank you @preachermomblog for inspiring myself to do this :D.

Here is my list:

1. I always dreamed that my future lover God will create for me is an adorable nerd who enjoys video games and Japanese culture like myself.
2. Any race is fine (white, African American etc.)
3. Must always love god first no matter what
4. I would enjoy it if we cuddle and tell funny silly jokes
5. Appearance will never matter to me
6. Personality is a huge must (I wish for them to be ultra nice and sweet meaning they will help others and love others like I do)
7. Motivate myself to get up and go to Church and join the community
8. Help me cook but not clean  (I really enjoy cleaning ^^).
9. BONUS IF THEY HAVE ANY ACCENT (preferably a British one)
10. In 5 years I wish to live a godly life with them
11. In 10 years same but with a family

That’s all but mostly they need to focus on god while helping myself do the same forever.